I am turning into stone. Not the kind of stone that sits, stodgy, in the middle of a desert weathering slowly. The kind that turns plastic in earthquakes and slithers down hills taking McMansions with formerly fantastic views of the California coast along with it. I'm going to be a nervous wreck and spastically checking email all day.
Alright, now that's out of my system...
I will try to post some knitting and vacation pics later today, since I've been wanting to use my camera more and this will give me a nice excuse. Right now I'm working on a scarf. Very, very simple, but something I will need next winter as my current one is kinda tired. After that I think I'm going to try a simple blanket. H. and I brainstormed some ideas, and I think it will be a bunch of "sampler squares", 12x12 in the same color, and the same border, but demonstrating different stitch patterns, which I will subsequently sew together. This I think will come out looking nice (given it's monochromatic, the textures will not be distracting), and it will get me used to using patterns and different kinds of stitches. I'm thinking maybe golden brown for color.
Shelfari is my new awesome. I'm hoping to find time to update it later today, but first I have to do some errands and such. Why did I sleep past my alarm? Sigh.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Yea bags?
I have a yarn bag now.
H. would disapprove because I didn't make it, I bought it, but pfft. I like canvas better, and it is cute. Plus I've always wanted a big messenger bag and wasn't ever able to justify buying one. It has pockets too, so I have a place for my needles, yarn, current project, and a book if I'm working out of one. ^_^
H. would disapprove because I didn't make it, I bought it, but pfft. I like canvas better, and it is cute. Plus I've always wanted a big messenger bag and wasn't ever able to justify buying one. It has pockets too, so I have a place for my needles, yarn, current project, and a book if I'm working out of one. ^_^
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Poison
Sir Issac Newton was a bastard.
He was, undoubtedly, a brilliant man. But he had a nasty habit of writing up his work and holding on to it. He would go as far as writing letters to his so-called colleagues, taunting them with hints to the answers they were seeking that he had supposedly already uncovered. Then, when they inevitably scooped him, he would (ab)use his substantial influence as England and Europe's primier scientist to shut them down and insert his work first.
I've done the "Newton was a bastard" spiel many times. I never thought I would say I knew exactly how Newton felt.
My little sister is 15. She's everything I'm not- social, outgoing, confident, driven. I blame this on her having a stable environment since she was in elementary school, whereas my education was punctuated by any number of school changes and moves across state lines. But I don't really know. It could well be that she is simply better at playing life than I am.
There are very few accomplishments in life that really mean much to me. One of them, for most of my life, has been to become a published author. I've worked a long time at it. But I always told myself there would time in the future to worry about it, made excuses for rarely showing my work to anyone, letting it idle on my hard drive, never quite finishing anything. Convincing myself that if I couldn't be the best I couldn't be anything. Telling myself that because I was so harshly critical of other people, and felt justified in this criticism, that others would take the same approach with me.
Last month my baby sister wrote a book. Not "literature", one of those gossipy teen novels. But she wrote it, in a single month, and she finished it. And now she's submitting it, and has already gotten an email from a literary agent wanting to see a manuscript.
I know there is a huge gap between that and publication. But I am so full of jealousy, frustration, resentment, and self-anger that I want to wring her skinny perfect neck. My own sister.
I feel like she stole something from me. I feel like she took this thing that was mine, alone, in our family, and usurped me. Such thinking is, of course, completely illogical.
But it's too late. If she does get this thing published, from now on anything I do will be something she did first, something I did to parrot or catch up with her.
I'm writing this on my fifteen minute work break, time I should be getting food since I haven't eaten yet today. I had to get this out, before it killed me.
He was, undoubtedly, a brilliant man. But he had a nasty habit of writing up his work and holding on to it. He would go as far as writing letters to his so-called colleagues, taunting them with hints to the answers they were seeking that he had supposedly already uncovered. Then, when they inevitably scooped him, he would (ab)use his substantial influence as England and Europe's primier scientist to shut them down and insert his work first.
I've done the "Newton was a bastard" spiel many times. I never thought I would say I knew exactly how Newton felt.
My little sister is 15. She's everything I'm not- social, outgoing, confident, driven. I blame this on her having a stable environment since she was in elementary school, whereas my education was punctuated by any number of school changes and moves across state lines. But I don't really know. It could well be that she is simply better at playing life than I am.
There are very few accomplishments in life that really mean much to me. One of them, for most of my life, has been to become a published author. I've worked a long time at it. But I always told myself there would time in the future to worry about it, made excuses for rarely showing my work to anyone, letting it idle on my hard drive, never quite finishing anything. Convincing myself that if I couldn't be the best I couldn't be anything. Telling myself that because I was so harshly critical of other people, and felt justified in this criticism, that others would take the same approach with me.
Last month my baby sister wrote a book. Not "literature", one of those gossipy teen novels. But she wrote it, in a single month, and she finished it. And now she's submitting it, and has already gotten an email from a literary agent wanting to see a manuscript.
I know there is a huge gap between that and publication. But I am so full of jealousy, frustration, resentment, and self-anger that I want to wring her skinny perfect neck. My own sister.
I feel like she stole something from me. I feel like she took this thing that was mine, alone, in our family, and usurped me. Such thinking is, of course, completely illogical.
But it's too late. If she does get this thing published, from now on anything I do will be something she did first, something I did to parrot or catch up with her.
I'm writing this on my fifteen minute work break, time I should be getting food since I haven't eaten yet today. I had to get this out, before it killed me.
Monday, July 9, 2007
I hate nightmares.
In a way, I can kind of appreciate the creativity in some of them- sometimes, like any dream, things emerge from them that I am certain will stay with me awhile and be used in some fashion. (I'm sure the grim rider will- I can't even shut my eyes right now. H. will, however, sardonically appreciate that after I described a fleeting glimpse of it in the dream, someone asked me, "What, like Death's horse". "No," I replied, "No, this was entirely different." More like an ill omen than Death...)
But mostly, I hate them.
I don't get them often, but when I do, sleep quickly becomes out of the question.
So here I sit writing, shuddering, at a quarter til five, hoping to make it til morning.
In a way, I can kind of appreciate the creativity in some of them- sometimes, like any dream, things emerge from them that I am certain will stay with me awhile and be used in some fashion. (I'm sure the grim rider will- I can't even shut my eyes right now. H. will, however, sardonically appreciate that after I described a fleeting glimpse of it in the dream, someone asked me, "What, like Death's horse". "No," I replied, "No, this was entirely different." More like an ill omen than Death...)
But mostly, I hate them.
I don't get them often, but when I do, sleep quickly becomes out of the question.
So here I sit writing, shuddering, at a quarter til five, hoping to make it til morning.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Just for L...
The sorting hat says that I belong in Ravenclaw!
Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose intelligence is surest."
Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable.
Notable residents include Cho Chang and Padma Patil (objects of Harry and Ron's affections), and Luna Lovegood (daughter of The Quibbler magazine's editor).
Take the most scientific Harry Potter Quiz ever created.
Ravenclaw - 80
Gryffindor - 74
Hufflepuff - 65
Slytherin - 64
To put a bizarre twist on this quiz, I've taken ones like it before, and I usually (inexplicably) come out torn between Slytherin and Ravenclaw.
What does it mean?????
It never rains...
Wow, surprisingly busy week.
Went to see H on Tuesday and Wednesday. She chained me to her couch while we binged on House, ate yummy steak and fries, and knitted until I felt my arm was going to fall off. I *did* finish a pot holder though (pics later, so much fun can be made of my sloppiness). I learned how to purl and to stockenade, or however it is spelled. I went to see the fireworks with my family on the 4th- I love fireworks. I want them at my funeral, not that I'll be around to care or anything, come to think of it.
On Thursday I had library training. This was supposed to take 3-4 hours; it took 1. Ah, well. It's slowly coming back to me. Made a lot of silly mistakes when I was working on Friday (like almost shelving stuff that wasn't checked in, forgetting to case the DVDs...) but nothing catatrophic. I forgot how much I liked working there. After training, I went home and finished up my teacher school applications and mailed them out. Woot! Now I just have to register for Praxis II, study for said Praxis II so I don't worry about it, and fill out financial aid. Midday I get an excited/panicked phone call from my friend Ryan from NWC, saying that the second part of an amazing campaign we did some four years ago is finally kicking off, and would I please finish some post I promised I would do and sign up? Fun times, and I probably will finish the post, but watching him have a caniption is kind of fun in its own right. (I'm awful, I know.)
I'm really looking forward to part two. The character I play in there is probably the most detailed, varied, and real character I have ever created, for anything. When I'm playing Ursa, it's not so much that I'm playing her as I am Ursa. I fully realize how psychotic that sounds. Plus, the group of characters has extremely good chemistry.
Then, later that afternoon, I get a call from some guy at RR, saying that they want to hire me part-time to do some programming, and could I please send him a resume. I did have a resume, but it was specific to student teaching/subbing, and had to be modified considerably for this kind of venue. So I woke up early Friday and did that. Friday I get another flurry of PMs on NWC about a different game that I thought was pretty much dead. Yea for RP! I still have to do some plotting with B and D to get H into this more...she owes me for the knitting thing!
So today I have to a) finish that Ursa/Hobbes post, b) figure out my vacation hours and post them at the library, c) register for that exam and do the financial aid, and d) something else I'm sure I forgot.
Luna just hit 67. I'm kinda wanting to get her to 70 and get her flying, so she can eventually get a netherdrake. It's a devil's choice between her and Ath for the epic flight skill, because epic flight form is pretty nifty as well, but the idea of not merely 5000g but 10,000g makes me want to faint. The most I've ever had at one time was slightly under 1k. 10k is...unfathomable. Also, against my better judgment I agreed to treefruif for Fate's End's misguided attempt on Gruul's Lair. Honestly, how did I make decisions before I had crushes? >_< It's two hours, and I don't know that it will be a weekly thing, so...eh, avoiding worry.
Oh, I remembered what (d) is...fill in my calander with all this junk!
H is coming over today, and we're making some kickass soup. Good times. Possibly some green tea as well.
Went to see H on Tuesday and Wednesday. She chained me to her couch while we binged on House, ate yummy steak and fries, and knitted until I felt my arm was going to fall off. I *did* finish a pot holder though (pics later, so much fun can be made of my sloppiness). I learned how to purl and to stockenade, or however it is spelled. I went to see the fireworks with my family on the 4th- I love fireworks. I want them at my funeral, not that I'll be around to care or anything, come to think of it.
On Thursday I had library training. This was supposed to take 3-4 hours; it took 1. Ah, well. It's slowly coming back to me. Made a lot of silly mistakes when I was working on Friday (like almost shelving stuff that wasn't checked in, forgetting to case the DVDs...) but nothing catatrophic. I forgot how much I liked working there. After training, I went home and finished up my teacher school applications and mailed them out. Woot! Now I just have to register for Praxis II, study for said Praxis II so I don't worry about it, and fill out financial aid. Midday I get an excited/panicked phone call from my friend Ryan from NWC, saying that the second part of an amazing campaign we did some four years ago is finally kicking off, and would I please finish some post I promised I would do and sign up? Fun times, and I probably will finish the post, but watching him have a caniption is kind of fun in its own right. (I'm awful, I know.)
I'm really looking forward to part two. The character I play in there is probably the most detailed, varied, and real character I have ever created, for anything. When I'm playing Ursa, it's not so much that I'm playing her as I am Ursa. I fully realize how psychotic that sounds. Plus, the group of characters has extremely good chemistry.
Then, later that afternoon, I get a call from some guy at RR, saying that they want to hire me part-time to do some programming, and could I please send him a resume. I did have a resume, but it was specific to student teaching/subbing, and had to be modified considerably for this kind of venue. So I woke up early Friday and did that. Friday I get another flurry of PMs on NWC about a different game that I thought was pretty much dead. Yea for RP! I still have to do some plotting with B and D to get H into this more...she owes me for the knitting thing!
So today I have to a) finish that Ursa/Hobbes post, b) figure out my vacation hours and post them at the library, c) register for that exam and do the financial aid, and d) something else I'm sure I forgot.
Luna just hit 67. I'm kinda wanting to get her to 70 and get her flying, so she can eventually get a netherdrake. It's a devil's choice between her and Ath for the epic flight skill, because epic flight form is pretty nifty as well, but the idea of not merely 5000g but 10,000g makes me want to faint. The most I've ever had at one time was slightly under 1k. 10k is...unfathomable. Also, against my better judgment I agreed to treefruif for Fate's End's misguided attempt on Gruul's Lair. Honestly, how did I make decisions before I had crushes? >_< It's two hours, and I don't know that it will be a weekly thing, so...eh, avoiding worry.
Oh, I remembered what (d) is...fill in my calander with all this junk!
H is coming over today, and we're making some kickass soup. Good times. Possibly some green tea as well.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Tuesday of our discontent
Not much has been going on. Saw H over the weekend- awesomeness- and finally got M his CD so he can get his BG fix. (My, don't we love letters?) Knitted a little, the green scarf I started last winter. It's a start, right?
Mostly, I've been working on, well, work forms and school forms and transcripts. I did my HR paperwork today for the library job. I kind of forgot that the reason I liked working there is they are a corporate-BS-free zone, so I was kind of nervous when my Criminal History Report didn't come in time. But, I showed the receipt and the woman just said to bring it in Thursday when I start. Woot.
School forms are giving me all kinds of headaches. It's not that they're hard- quite the contrary- it's this damnable one year of grad school. Do I disclose it? Then I have to submit a transcript from that year, and it's not spectacular to say the least. If I could just forget it ever happened I would be happier. Also, I need 18 credit hours in math to qualify, and I have exactly 18 in the actual math department. But four of them are AP transfer credits. So here's hoping either a) they count (which they should since I sent them my HS transcript), or b) they're willing to count some of my "physics is math on crack" courses towards it. I think A is what will happen, but I can argue B in a pinch, since all those classes were was applied math. Anyway, got to finish and bury it today, so I can stop worrying about it.
Also, they did not include a financial aid form, like I thought they did, so I think I have to go see my bank about that, possibly. Fun.
I still have to read and critique D's first four chapters too, before she gets back from Boston. That actually should be fun, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Damn mechanostriders.
Mostly, I've been working on, well, work forms and school forms and transcripts. I did my HR paperwork today for the library job. I kind of forgot that the reason I liked working there is they are a corporate-BS-free zone, so I was kind of nervous when my Criminal History Report didn't come in time. But, I showed the receipt and the woman just said to bring it in Thursday when I start. Woot.
School forms are giving me all kinds of headaches. It's not that they're hard- quite the contrary- it's this damnable one year of grad school. Do I disclose it? Then I have to submit a transcript from that year, and it's not spectacular to say the least. If I could just forget it ever happened I would be happier. Also, I need 18 credit hours in math to qualify, and I have exactly 18 in the actual math department. But four of them are AP transfer credits. So here's hoping either a) they count (which they should since I sent them my HS transcript), or b) they're willing to count some of my "physics is math on crack" courses towards it. I think A is what will happen, but I can argue B in a pinch, since all those classes were was applied math. Anyway, got to finish and bury it today, so I can stop worrying about it.
Also, they did not include a financial aid form, like I thought they did, so I think I have to go see my bank about that, possibly. Fun.
I still have to read and critique D's first four chapters too, before she gets back from Boston. That actually should be fun, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Damn mechanostriders.
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